No
Oneiris, god of dreams, son of blackest night, you who lingers longest as morning’s light lifts the last of sleep from my eyes…
Soothing god, you’ve shown me the strain, the discord that comes of separating burning wish from action…
I think I shall not flout your truth, your visions; and, sustained by the Blessed Ones, I shall not spurn the thing for which I moan.
When I was little, I was never so silly as to turn my back on a toy my mother held out to me…
So, may the Blessed Ones arrange occasion, quickly, to place me in the way of what I crave… I pray with expectation, as one who often honors them in poetry and song.
~Sappho
i dreamt of d. i can’t remember how it started, but i think it was at a pub-lunch with the guys from the stage production.. but the pub was only half-pub, interspersed with what appeared to be a hardware store (it looked like a Bunnings Warehouse). i had one drink, and said i was going to go, and d piped up and said that i couldn’t go, he wouldn’t let me. i said “no.. i can’t afford another drink, and i’m not going to just sit here and watch you lot drink”.. he replied: “well we can’t have that, YOU HAVE to have another drink” and took twenty bucks out of his wallet and gave it to me.. i protested, (“are you trying to get me drunk?”, “well why wouldn’t i be?”) but eventually pocketed the money, and went and got another drink….
at the bar (a bunnings check-out) i ran into carol, had a surprisingly pleasant conversation with her, got back to the table and everyone else had disappeared, and it was just me and him… he said that he wanted to go to the fair that was just outside, but that he’d drive us both there.. so we got in his car, (which was parked just beside the bar, of course) and drove outside.. driving along these grassy tracks, passing a heap of little old rickety buildings, all of them looking like they were about to fall down.. he drove up the ramp at one house, and parked beside another car, and as i was getting out, john dalla was getting out of the other car.. we started babbling at each other, and by the time i turned around from him, d had disappeared..
so i wandered off, trying to find him.. and the place was filled with people.. and these huge tray-back semi-trailers, that carried a collection of “the worlds biggest machines”.. planes, cars, trucks, motorbikes, cement mixers, (despite the fact that the semi’s they were being carried on, were bigger than the machines themselves…).. they were all lined up, waiting to go, and i was running around between them, thinking i had caught a glimpse of d somewhere between them.. then……. the semi’s started to rev their engines, ready to go, and i was lost in the maze of them all, eventually found my way outside of them, without being run over.. went looking for d’s car.. thought i’d go back there and wait for him.. but when i got to the house that we parked at, the entire garage had disappeared, the car was gone, d’s car was gone, and i was alone in the entire fair-ground..
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dreamed before.
~Edgar Allan Poe “The Raven”
my sub-conscious is a strange place to be at the best of times… one wonders how the balance between ‘wish fulfillment’ and ‘prophesy’ wavers..
The thoughts of the day become the dreams of the night.
~Chinese proverb.
tethered to the edge of wanting,
staring at a pure warning,
the days as mortals unfulfilling,
the nights of slumber too enchanting,
the power of the dream belies it all.
Eros shakes my senses like a wind on the mountain shaking oaks.
~Sappho