ellemhach

oi…

the dream i had this morning: i was competing in a TV game show… kind of like Big Brother, which is kind of like Survivor… …

Freak of the Week (part 2)

aphrodisiacs like you.. need to see you more.. need to have you again..
for my sanity i need your touch.. the touch of your voice.. of your words.. of you..
the softest touch.
i’ve missed you for so long.. longer than i ever knew..
until i met you.. the one who has been missing all my life..
i want you back.. i want you now.. wanting more..
never getting it.. never getting it together.. never getting what i want..
because i feel i know you..
but i know i don’t.. i know there is so much i don’t know..
i want to know it all.. i think i know it all.. i know i don’t.. i don’t know..

the very personal ones never get published… usually i feel i have to work them though as if they were for ‘publication’ though… helps me to move things along in my practice..

but i feel i know you so well
my freak of the week

and i want my freak.. i want him i want him here.. i want him now
i crave his voice and i crave his touch
and he comes and goes and he comes back again
and he is gone yet again.. i wait.. wanting more.. never getting it.. never getting it together never getting what i want
a letter.. a phone call.. a message anything.. i need to hear from you

(actual date unknown – approx June 2001)

Freak of the Week (part 1)

aphrodisiacs like you.. need to see you more.. need to have you again
a letter.. a phone call .. a message anything.. i need to hear from you
for my sanity i need your touch.. the touch of your voice.. of your words.. of you
the softest touch
i’ve missed you for so long.. longer than i ever knew.. until i met you
the one who has been missing all my life.. i want you back.. i want you now..
i want you always
because i feel i know you
but i know i don’t.. i know there is so much i don’t know
i want to know it all.. i think i know it all.. i know i don’t.. i don’t know
but i feel i know you so well
my freak of the week
an i want my freak.. i want him i want him here.. i want him now
i crave his voice and i crave his touch
and he comes and goes and he comes back again
and he is gone yet again.. i wait.. wanting more.. never getting it.. never getting it together never getting what i want

(actual date unknown – approx June 2001)

if i can

if i can ask one more question
if I have to ask one more question
if i have to ask one more time
if i have to find out anything else
if i need to know anything else
if i can find out more
if i find out too much
if i want to know more
if i need to know more
if i like what i find
if i find what i like
if i want what i like
if i want what i know
if i know what like
if i know what i want
if i knew what i got
if i got what i want
if i like what i got
if i like what i have
if i have what i got
if i have what i like
if i don’t get what i like
if i don’t like what i got
if i don’t have what i like
if i like what i don’t have
if i don’t have what i want
if i want what i don’t have
if i can’t have what i want
if i can’t have you

(actual date unknown – approx June 2001)

net flirt freek

man, i am an incurable flirt
i cannot resist the opportunity
a crude, rude freak
chasing you over the net til 4 in the morning
chasing or being chased?
enjoying every minute of it
wanting more and more
laughing at you and at me
i’m stoned and you are getting confused
i’m flirting and so are you
i’m getting turned on and you..
…i don’t know about you
you are talking about sex
i am talking about me
i’m wondering if that is deliberate
now you want to know it all
i think you may already know it
but do you want to ask?

revealing too much? no, i don’t think so
but i’ll flirt some more, and some more…and then…
i’ll flirt some more!

(actual date unknown – approx June 2001)

*sigh*

it was so fantastic
it was the closest we’ve gotten
it has no name
this thing we have
its a thing is all
just wondering is all
just sounded cool is all

my heart sinks
stuck in my throat sinking choking
i have no control
this is spiralling up down out of control
i can’t even name it
this thing that we have

(actual date unknown – approx June 2001)

status quo

almost anything i say, and everything i do…
almost any other day and any other you
if i were to go.. if i were to do.. if i were to listen to you..
i never want to go..cause i’m never seen with you
 
 
 
 
i want to go.. i want to know.. i want to know what is going on

(actual date unknown – approx June 2001)

words

[my evil twin] [you are the one] [i am missing you]

a message for you

words words words and more words

i wait for your words,
i wait on your words,
i read the words,
i believe the words,
the words give me strength,
the words give me hope,
they are those kinds of words,

those kinds of words,
words that mean more than they say,
they mean nothing,
nothing to anyone,
anyone but me,
me and my thoughts,
thoughts about words,
words that make me think about you.

(actual date unknown – approx Jun 2001)