last night i went to a couple of exhibition openings.. i don’t know what it was.. but either the late lunch, the beer at the Metro, or god knows what else, made feel astonishingly sick late last night.. details shmetails, but i have worked out that pretty much anything with any oil content whatsoever, makes me nauseas…
i had the most disturbing vision this morning…. i was sitting out the back, just watching the traffic on vulture street, and i heard shouting coming from the living room.. so i went in to find out what was going on.. when i got there, my stalker ex was asking princess and kim where i was.. “i just want to talk to her”.. princess was telling him to leave, and kim was holding him back.. end of vision. i scare myself sometimes..
it wasn’t the best start to the day….
this entry sucks.. and i don’t care. i can barely think, but i had the urge to update.. and this is the main reason for that urge:
disappointment sucks. seriously.. i hate that feeling of being let down, more than anything else in the world. being led to believe one thing, then finding out that its not going to happen. i was thinking before.. wondering why i bother getting excited about anything.. put my faith in the universe. i wish i had the answer to that…
i don’t really feel like talking about it much, but i felt i had to say that yes, i’m pissed off. yes, i’m disappointed. yes, i’m even a little upset about it.
as i just said to M:
“i don’t have a clue what i want at the moment.. i’m just a vague mass of ‘i dunno’s.. i’m not sure if i’m convincing myself to move on, or if i just don’t want to think about it…”
i need to get to sleep before i start feeling sicker. oh, yea, i was sick again tonight.. not as bad as last night, but it sure as hell ruined the party for me. well, that and a few other things. bah, stuff it.
g’night..