feel like crap, don’t know what i’m thinking about, but things just aren’t right. it’s alright, but it’s not right? does that make sense? i’ve been retro-tagging my past entries, but really, i’m just finding things to de before i go to bed to toss and turn for another seven hours before i get up and repeat today. apparently i was “really restless” last night. there’s so much going on, i don’t know what to think about next. property&build, or buy existing? give up smoking? uni? stuff from brisbane? need to go to a dentist? the fact that i feel lonely some days?
while retro-tagging – i found this snippet…
I want you to let me in again. I don’t like being left in the rain. I need contact. Though it is there, it doesn’t feel real. I don’t know what real is anymore.
strangely apt. i feel stuck. i’ve somehow gotten to here, and i don’t [but i kinda do] know where to go from here. i have options, sure, but which? for how long do i follow that chosen path? why am i bothering to choose? shouldn’t things just flow anyway? why do i have to make it all happen? i understand that no-one is going to make it happen for me, but why is it always left up to me?