i think i’m here, just, here to distract myself, i can’t sleep, i’m tired as all hell, i’ve been up since 9am yesterday and its now 1.57am, i keep trying to distract myself, cause i keep thinking things i shouldn’t think, things about far away people. another far away person said something to me that totally summed up my thoughts. i hope he doesn’t mind me quoting him, but it’s so perfect, i couldn’t say it any better myself, and it needs to be said.
yeah…i never understood the whole “im too busy to pop on for 2 minutes to write an email and let people who care about me know whats up” thing
someone kill me now. please. i have a Madonna song stuck in my head, and it won’t let me go. so i’m sitting here, its nearly 2am.. my parents are arriving here sometime in the morning (probably about 10am, knowing them). i’ll have to clean the kitchen in the morning, cause i can’t be fucked doing it now, and besides, the other member of the household is sleeping like a baby. i have to continually change position in this chair, cause my legs keep going to sleep. goddamnfucking low blood pressure. and if i rest my elbow on the edge of the desk, (where its really comfortable to type) then within about a minute, my fingers start to go stiff and tingle. i turned the stereo off a little while ago cause it was getting too ‘loud’ on my consciousness.. if that makes sense. and all the songs that were playing, make me think of past boyfriends, whom i have no wish to be thinking of at 2am at the start of valentines day. blargh. i didn’t want to mention that. so there’s no music playing.. i can hear the gentle hum of the cpu, and the ‘it’d be somewhat louder if i was closer’ hum of the refrigerator generators at the 7-11 on Vulture street. passing traffic. hmm.. traffic. when i moved over all my old journal entries, i re-found this one. traffic.. i remember going to wp’s place, when he lived at Kelvin Grove. i’d sit on his front steps, drinking coffee, watching the traffic on Kelvin Grove Road. (the house was in a side street, half way up a hill, so it looked straight over the neighbours roof tops, and down to KG road.) the passing.. so many people going so many places, for so many different reasons. hrm.. despite these ‘sounds’ .. all i can hear is the silence…. thats all i can notice.. and its the silence of the night that make it so easy to think, which is what keeps me awake.