dream based somewhere in reality, if i care to think about it too much which of course i already have. i have people feeding off me, i dissect and transform that which i am about to give them, and i never feel like it is enough.
r’s last day today and i’ll miss her though we had a brilliant conversation about how people tend to get stuck in a rut with what they’re doing and lose sight of why they started doing it in the first place and in the end it’s all you ever think about but can’t find a way to get out of it all. but one day you realise that it just annoys the hell out of you so you have to change things a bit.
nearly got caught out by d, and told t and r why i feel i have to be careful around him. funnily enough they understood.. i know too many craig’s and chris’s and many more virgo’s. she cried when we left..
honest and heartfelt conversation about disassociating myself from various things/places over the last year, and a realisation: “he wouldn’t ask if he didn’t want you there.” silly me. one of those bits of subconscious knowledge that suddenly rise to the surface and slap you in the face with a wet fish.