well, Brad was a tad late, but that’s ok, i got the phone off him.. [and it works! knowing Louise’s history with mobile phones (and other objects of a technological persuasion), i was actually surprised about that.] i made it to ‘rehearsal’ just in time.. not really scene rehearsals, but an afternoon session based on (more) character development, motivation, psychological analysis of the character etc; and brainstorming over crescendo points in particular scenes.. in other words, we got some good stuff done. and though i’m tired, i feel more confident about the fact that i’m going on stage in just under three weeks.. even though i know i have a lot more work to do, i’m cautiously confident that i’ll get there.. i wasn’t really worried that i wouldn’t, but today’s session worked out a lot more for me. put it this way: i’m closer to it than some others are – i’m the least of the director’s worries.
after the rehearsal, i ran into a guy that went through Uni the year behind me.. (i can’t remember his name for the life of me.. i think it’s Tim, but there’s no certainty whatsoever. however, i’ll call him Tim for the purpose of this entry.) anyway, Tim told me that the QUT Graduate shows are on soon: the undergrad (BA VA) show next week, and the Honours show the week following. i’m amazed that it’s that time of year already.. seriously…. where the hell did this year go? it seems to have whizzed past me – its nearly December already.. the Jacaranda’s have been flowering for months, the grad shows are up very soon, Christmas is almost upon us..
i’m not allowing myself to think about christmas until after the play. except for the fact that my parents have some half-developed plan/idea of having an early celebration while they’re in town, i haven’t thought about it at all. and frankly, i don’t want to.. it’s stressful and expensive, and i can’t/don’t want to deal with either of those things at the moment.
but Christmas will come and go as it does every year.. that is, with family silently demanding that i show up to certain events, and me silently despising the fact that they only want me there ’cause i ‘should’ be. i’m reminded of the guilt trip mum put me through last year.. how i ‘had’ to go camping with them (mum, dad and my sister’s family), ’cause dad wasn’t going to bother going if i didn’t go; but mum’s agenda was that she wanted to spend time with her grand-kids – not that she didn’t want to see me, but she really wanted to see the kids.
at this point, i’m wondering, though not worrying about, what crap will manifest this christmas…. all i want for christmas is a break from guilt trips and unspoken emotional demands.
i feel so detached from it.. which is a good thing.. and based on the fact that i’m so focused on this play.
whoopdidoo..