What the goddamn hell is wrong with the men in this city? It appears to me, that they don’t have balls. Let me explain through this particular case study. Last night. Steve’s mate was visiting again last night, we all went out (five of us in total) – dinner at Savannahs, then went for drinks & whatever at Gilligan’s, Mad Cow, then Troppo’s. Over the whole evening, I noticed about six, maybe seven guys who seemed quite content to stand on the other side of the room and stare, but goddamn, when I actually looked at the person and smiled, the only reaction I got was the sudden ‘look away and practically cower in the corner’, seemingly too afraid to even return a smile. It was like “No ma’am, sorry ma’am, I wasn’t looking at you ma’am.” WTF?
Seriously though, I don’t have a problem with making the first move. But if you’re staring at me from the other side of the room, or hell, even from 4 feet away, and I look up and smile at you, and you don’t even return the smile – I’m not going to waste my time and energy to find a way to get to where you are, and make the effort to start a conversation with someone who seems too scared to smile. Am I being too harsh here? Cause personally, I think most women would agree with that…
J (Steve’s mate) actually asked me about it.
J: So, sorry, but I have to ask. Why don’t you have a boyfriend? I mean seriously, you’re a damn good looking chic, you’re fun, you like to have fun, you’re nice, you can hold a conversation – I don’t understand it..
I mean, hey – I’m not really looking for anything at the moment (I can do without the complication in my life right now), but I don’t even get to have a conversation with most guys I see. Y’know how it goes: No, I’m not actively looking, but should I find something that’s worth it, yea, I’ll consider it..
As for Ryan (who was described recently as “the perverted one as most females in the Cairns area know him as”) – he even ran away. Saw him last night, he said like 10 words to Steve, turned around, saw me, gave me a big hug, then went to the bar, and disappeared. Seriously disappeared. Left the building. I know this, cause I went looking for him. Recently, he’d gone into Steve’s work, and asked Steve all about me. (What I got told, was that the conversation went something like this: R: Who is that sexy chic that I see you with all the time? S: Lisa? She’s just a friend. R: Does she work around the Esplanade or something, cause I see her all the time? S: Yea, She works around the back on Abbott st. R: So she’s just a friend? You’re not going out or anything? S: Yea, just a friend.) So, even “the perverted one” runs away, even though he knows I’m not seeing anyone else.
See, I have considered the fact that I am always out with Steve – and it may appear to others that we’re together. But the thing is: a) we’re not; and b) no one has the balls to ask if we are or not. And c) even the ONE guy who has had the balls to ask, ran away. We’re not conjoined twins or anything, but we do interact in a way that may seem like we’re together, I guess. But the thing is, I’ve always been the same with all of my male and female friends. I play around, I dance with them, I take the piss out of them, (hell, I’ll take the piss out of anything & anyone) – but I also walk away from them, wander around the room, try to talk to other people, watch people. Whatever. But here, people just won’t respond. It’s not just men, it’s people. Women seem to see as some kind of threat, I think. I dunno.
Am I THAT intimidating? And if I am, what is it about me that is intimidating? Or is it that Cairns men have no balls? Seriously. This is really starting to give me the shits. When I go out, I’d really like to at least talk to people. Even if it goes nowhere from there. But I can’t even get a conversation.
Gah.
Don’t feel bad about it; I gave up looking for love in this town and just imported one 🙂
I wasn’t even looking for ‘love’ though!
Ahem.
hush, you know you’re the only lizzard i’ll ever love.
Such insecurity… Recall the conversation we had while sitting out the back of Soapbox a while ago, suspicions like that arise from the same mental mettle.
I could give you a wide range of serious reasons for their behaviour, but I would still hold, as with most things, that it has to be mutual.
Insecurity from me, or them? :p
But yes, there is an element of the mutual. It’s not often that I have the courage to approach (y’know, that ‘shy artist’ thing that I’ve got going on).
Had a chat to a couple of girls at work, and they’ve noticed that there’s two types of men in Cairns – the sleazy, over the top type, or the scared & intimidated type.
It’s just annoying because I wasn’t even in a ‘predatory’ mood.. If I was, I’d understand their shy/scared thing – but I was just bored, and wanted someone new to talk to.
*shrug*
We’re just all shy, sensitive types, I guess. *snicker*…But seriously, I get that from women too. As you pointed out though, it’s not just men, it’s people.
So you want to start one of these debates?
If I get in trouble now for staring, I’m blaming it on you.
Re: So you want to start one of these debates?
I don’t mind being watched (hey, it’s a compliment, if you ask me..) what I hate is when the person refuses to acknowledge it. bleh.