note to duck, M, k, and t : this is not to/about any of you.. (i know it may seem like it, but it’s not.. this is something completely different)
how do you respond when someone lets you into the darkest part of their soul, shows you the self-analysis of nothingness, that darkest moment of moments…? when they haven’t really asked for advice, seemingly just wanted to say it, so they could say it.. and then apologised for it..
i don’t know what to say.. i’ve got a half written reply that seems inadequate, selfish, thoughtless and passé. i could respond sentence by sentence, with some uplifting babble, but i’m not sure that’s what he wants to hear, nor am i sure if i really believe what i’d say..
the babble of self-help, and spiritual awareness, the optimism+self-knowledge+’chill out’ babble comes all to easy to be taken seriously at such a time; and quite deserves the “that’s easy for you to say” response it would most probably be greeted with. i know that response – i’ve used it before.
truth is, i’m shocked that he let me in at all, with associated surprise that he showed so much.. i’ve never seen him write like this, and i’m scared for him.. though, i don’t know if i should tell him that.. if i’m scared, then how the hell is he feeling? dammit, where’s my magic 8 ball? miss cleo? tell me what to do.. i’m lost on this one…
hard to believe, but aunty angel’s stumped..
perhaps i should sleep on it..
what gets me, is that it was sent to me, not posted somewhere, as an open letter to the world at large.. did he send it to me, because he wants to hear something i could say in reply, or because i was the only person he could say it to..?
too many questions, too few answers.. for both of us..