i had an odd dream this morning.. i was travelling around north Queensland (where i grew up) on a bus, with a group of people.. there were about 30 or so.. a few i recognize from other dreams, a couple of ‘real’ people, and a lot that i didn’t take any notice of.. every time we stopped somewhere, someone i knew from my childhood would show up and stop to chat, or just wander past somehow.. kate rode past the bus on a bike, glenn was working at a bar we stopped at, suze was at the beach and came over to say hi, nathan was working in a bank i went into, that kind of thing.. every time i saw someone, i’d be all excited “wow! i haven’t seen her/him since..” etc..
there was one girl in the group, that would also recognize all these people, although i didn’t recognize her… she was vaguely familiar, in that she was a physically similar to a friend of my sister’s, but she had a very different personality. her personality was a cross between anna h., and helen d. (anna was in my class until she moved away in 4th grade, and i had a few classes in high school with helen. frankly, i would be happy, and in no way regretful in sending them both to hell). in other words, this nameless girl in my dreams was a complete bitch, who had the surface appearance of a lovely person.. i kept trying to figure out who she was.. asking where she knew people from, trying to place her at different times in my memories, and every time, i came up blank.
that’s about all there was to this dream, but it’s got me thinking about a few things.. the school reunion next year, and i can’t get anna out of my head, either.
but the main thing i keep thinking about, are my grandparents.. granddad died June 10th, 1984, and nana on March 12th, 1993. a lot of the places we visited in the dream, were places i used to go with them. The Coconuts, Flying Fish Point, that little rocky outcrop on the Johnstone river (the colloquial name of which i can never remember, but that’s the place where i caught my first fish), that little corner store near the pre-school i went to (mum and dad were working, so they would pick me up from pre-school, granddad would park the car near the store, we’d walk from the school, to the store, they’d buy me something, and we’d go back to their place), King George Square…
the memories that have been spurned by this dream are numerous.. i’m homesick again.. i can’t believe that i’m homesick for a place that i hate, that i ached to get out of. but it’s not the place, its the feelings associated with the memories. the good stuff about it. i want to go home again.