a curious ambiguous yet pointed plea arrived on my screen via a message board i haven’t given much attention to recently.
i admit, there’s a few things i haven’t been able to give much attention to of late, not for a lack of will, or caring, but via a small change of circumstance, and a lot of chaos.. i have things, people, here, now, demanding to take my attention away from places i’d like it to be. i haven’t changed, in that i’m no less concerned, no less caring.
the phone call at 6am said “she’s alright, and i’ll send her to kindy, but if they send her home, can you come out?” yes..
the phone call at 11am said “he’s sick now, can you be here asap?” yes..
and instead of just one, as i thought, i had two. neither of them all that sick, both seemed to make a remarkable recovery about 10 min after i got there. so, 6 hours of ‘the little mermaid’, ‘hide and seek’, ‘hide the dinosaur’, connektix, ‘sleeping beauty’, drawing, temper tantrums, refusing to sleep, and demanding ‘heaps and heaps’ of yoghurt that wasn’t eaten, here i am again, exhausted, sore back, worried, analysing, reflecting over the last insane week of my life, the events of which i have been too exhausted or too confused to relate in any detailed manner via any diary, messenger or mail program.. somehow only able to post curious ambiguous messages about happy and power and melancholy, not really telling much, but revealing some.
and yet, while i get dragged and lured around, i get moments to myself, where i catch up on the world. moods and a car accidents there, drinking, dates and confusion here; comfort to give, comfort to take; and i rise and fall as the message come in…
and with this one, i take stock.. realise what i’ve been neglecting.. i’m sorry…