Life.

I’m falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I’ve held onto
I’m standing here until you make me move
I’m hanging by a moment here with you

I’m living for the only thing I know
I’m running and not quite sure where to go
I don’t know what I’m diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

I was sitting on the balcony having a cigarette, and the thought passed through my mind that I haven’t spoken to mum for a while, and I felt the need to call her. I realized though, that she would be at work, and it wouldn’t be worth calling her right now. So, I finished the cigarette, and came back inside. I was just walking up the stairs, when my mobile rang. Mum.

“I was just thinking about you” I said.
“Yeah, um… no wonder. Have you seen, or called Nana in the last couple of days?”
“No.. why…?”
“Well I didn’t ring her last night as I usually do, I wasn’t sure if she was out of hospital yet, so I rang the hospital. And the first thing the sister said was ‘Oh.. you haven’t heard yet?’ “
“Oh god.”
“Apparently, she had another mild stroke yesterday morning. I .. uh.. I don’t know how bad she is at the moment. I just got off the phone from the sister. I haven’t even spoken to mum yet.”
pause

The deal is, mum can’t even get to speak to a doctor until tomorrow afternoon, which is just ridiculous. So I called the hospital, got hold of the son of an old friend of mum’s who works there, and asked him to call in and see how Nana is. She’s ok, it was only a mild stroke, but she’s coming down to Cairns tomorrow for a CT scan. Mum, however, is not doing too well so far. She’s really worried. [After Uncle Greg passed away two months ago, I think mum is a little shaken by the possibility of another death in the family.]

So mum called Nana, and decided to come up here, and she arrives tomorrow. I called the hospital here, found out where and when and what not. I called my sister, and she’s a little upset, but she’s so busy that she’s not sure if she’ll even get time to send flowers. I’m not even going to go into THAT at the moment. shrug

The thing that really gets me though, is that there are other people in the family that knew about this yesterday [when it happened], and not one of them called mum to tell her. I am really pissed off about that, and the fact that it’s deja vu, only makes it worse. To be really frank, I am livid. I am worried about Nana’s health, I am concerned for how mum will cope with this, and I am livid with the rest of my family. In my honest opinion, it’s tragic, and it’s pathetic that my Uncles are so selfishly wrapped up in their own troubles, and warped by the bullshit that each of them spin, that they don’t even think to tell their own goddamn sister. Excuse my language, but it’s fucked up.

So, yea. We’ll see what happens tomorrow.