mmm… connection, doesn’t it just make you feel all warm and fuzzy?

mmm… connection, doesn’t it just make you feel all warm and fuzzy?

Mexican for dinner in celebration of Barbara’s birthday.. not that I really know her all that well, but it was pretty cool. Me, Steve, Kathryn, Barbara, some couple and three gay guys (who were all so out of the closet and catty that it was amusing to find them in this city, which seems so.. so.. closed minded at times). After dinner, on to Gilligan’s, where we met up with Maria and her ever-so-sleazy “fuckoffandleavemealone,Idon’twanttoknowifyouthinkgI’msexy” friend, Graham. But things are easing up between her and me, we actually relaxed together for the first time since we started speaking again. From there, to Mad Cow, and then to Troppo’s. Though lord knows why, the music was crap at both. i don’t understand why Cairns clubs have a thing about playing tracks that were ‘old’ when I first started going out a whole ten years ago.

“Ten years ago”.. My god I feel old saying that…

But there was such a good feeling to the night that the music didn’t bother me as much as it normally would. I guess I was more focused on the people than anything else. There’s a slightly strange feeling between Steve and I at the moment, I’m not sure of its why’s and wherefore’s, but it’s definitely there. The connection is stronger than it has ever been, which is a good thing, but it also has it’s down side. I’d prefer not to focus on the downside, of course, but it’s getting noticeable, and I’m not liking the fact that it’s there at all. (All who know me, will know that I would, of course, prefer things to be no-less-than-perfect, however, I know this is virtually impossible.)

The dreams are getting even weirder, as time goes on. Yesterday’s dream was more disturbing, more vivid, and filled with more ambiguous/abstract meaning than any dream I’ve had in quite a while, and it’s been bothering me a tad, but I guess it’s one of those things that will remain a mystery until I’m ready to understand it, and it’s quite obvious to me that I’m not ready yet.

On another note, it’s election day, Queensland kiddies. So, we’ll either have more of TeamBeattie; or, the evil forces of a Lib/Nat combo to contend with. Who’s up for a coin toss? Or is it a case of ‘better the devil you know’? I’m a little blasé about it this year…