Simultaneously battling past, present and future, nothing seems to hold anything back, nothing is the something that fear is made of. Fearing ‘then’ coming back now, because now is the time it would, if it ever could. The 19th is three months, and three months is nervous and this is always the time I get the shakes about it all. All I’ve gotta do, is hold myself together and ignore the ghost of Christmas past, because this one really is different to the rest. Sure, there’s little things (we have our moments), but above it all, it’s so much easier than most. “It’s quite simple,” she said. “We’re just together.”
Simple, pure and wise is what I’ve been asking for for years, and now it seems I’ve got it, and I almost don’t know what to do with it now that I have it. I’ll work it out. After all, it’s simple. bad dreams of the past are just that – bad dreams and nothing more. He’s so much like me in some ways that it’s scary – now I know what I’ve put others through, and if that’s the worst of it, then it really is so easy to handle that it is almost funny. I can laugh at the past, realising that for all it was, it was just wrong. The wrong people, the wrong way to go about it, the wrong time, just plain wrong. But it’s also past. Been and gone, never to return – and that’s all I have to remember. For all the little problems around at the moment, the big things are easy, and the small stuff is just small stuff. I’ll work it out, or it’ll work itself out. It’s all just stuff. “Don’t sweat the small stuff.”