Why is it that at moments when writing is impossible, I have the most amazing thoughts that would translate into text as the most amazing reading, but when pen comes to hand, those thoughts are gone?
Because times, people and plans change, that’s why.
Because there’s so much I could say, so much I have said, so much I want to tell specific people.
Because everything is too much or not enough.
Because I walk around this city, and everything I see, experience and think, I want to share with him.
Because I miss sharing his thoughts and mine, I miss his physical presence in my space, the sound of his voice, the scent of his aftershave, the warmth of his body against mine in the middle of the night.
Because when you’re in love with life you want to stop and smell the flowers.
Because people really are the most amazing creatures.
Because compassion is the greatest thing to have.
Because freedom is the greatest thing you can give someone.
Because he gives me the freedom I’ve always wanted from a partner.
Because sometimes it’s scary having that freedom.
Because being honest with yourself is the most important thing.
Because not enough people on this planet realize that.
Because it’s all sounding very Zen.
Because “I need coffee dearie,” says so much.
Because I’m running out of time to get everything done.
Because when you pull apart a non-working-sample mobile phone (cell phone), you realize that you really don’t know what you’re buying.
Because when you draw though the face plates, you can’t tell the difference between a Nokia, an Erickson, a Motorola, a Siemens, and a Panasonic.
Because I didn’t pull apart the two cool Nokia’s that could be useful as props for a film, or the Samsung we want for the exhibition.
Because the cat’s sitting beside me.
Because it’s Sunday.
Because I feel dislocated.
(And because this is the second time I’ve typed this out, and if it doesn’t post this time, I’m gonna kill someone.)