Tag: poem

A profound sense of betrayal blackens the central core of my being…
 
 
 
 
feeling like a square peg in a round hole
 
 
 
The hole is too big, and my corners touch the edges in a
      tantalising, but unfulfilled promise, but as the space around me
      fills with the tears I have not allowed myself to cry,
                        I am drowning…
 
The pressure on my chest will not allow me to breath deeply enough
      to fill my lungs with air…
 
Each tear drops, in slow motion, with a thunderous splash it drops
      on my chest, crushing my ribs and my resolve with its
                        leaden weight…
 
The light burning my eyelids is too weak to warm my soul, which is cold
      and untouched, as I flounder, spiralling downwards out of control
in the emotional glider ride of my life…
 
 
The brick walls of my own construction prevent and protect…
 

Terrible intention
Inference of Power
Portrayal of Fictitiousness
Failure of Succession
Subtlety of Action
Ambivalent to Temptation

Terrifying Letdown…

Distant places
Fresh fields
Blue-grey clouds
Pale Grey Light
 
energising
charging
forceful
     the pinky-grey light
supplies a
                    forceful charge
 
 
 
 
(OH WHAT A BEAUTIFUL NOISE!)
 
 
 
The sweet fresh smell of rain
the cleansing storm
the vital storm

LOVE
ATTENTION
INTENTION
EXEMPTION
REDEMPTION

everything falling
failing closely
closet dreaming
feeling falsely
loosely wanting

redemption
   salvation
      creation
         beginning again

(the cyclical behaviour of
human emotions.)

listlessly augmenting myself
averaging exceptionally
lifelong rejection of hopeless dreams
wanting penalties for absent lovers
having ravaging screams of hapless hope.

(actual date unknown – approx Nov 1997)

Expectation
Demand
Atrophy
Control
Absence
Existence
Wonder
Feeling
Trying
Caring
Being

existence
insistence
persistence
 
need
greed
feed
 
absolute
resolute
desolate

Antagonism and infidelity
the ‘rite’ path
exacerbating intelligence
and thought provoking muse
 
I have a need to clarify
to outline
to progress
to digest
the need for a paragon of virtues?
 
 
expectations
 
Affiliations
Reactions
Actions
Loss
Affections

I was a true princess. I cannot be a true princess. I refuse to be a true princess. I will not allow myself to be a true princess. I will not be your true princess. You made me into a true princess. I refused to be a true princess. I could not be a true princess. I became your true princess. I was a true princess. I cannot be a true princess. I refuse to be a true princess. I will not allow myself to be a true princess. I will not be your true princess. You made me into a true princess. I refused to be a true princess. I could not be a true princess. I became your true princess. I was a true princess. I cannot be a true princess. I refuse to be a true princess. I will not allow myself to be a true princess. I will not be your true princess. You made me into a true princess. I refused to be a true princess. I could not be a true princess. I became your true princess. I was a true princess. I cannot be a true princess. I refuse to be a true princess. I will not allow myself to be a true princess. I will not be your true princess. You made me into a true princess. I refused to be a true princess. I could not be a true princess. I became your true princess. I was a true princess. I cannot be a true princess. I refuse to be a true princess. I will not allow myself to be a true princess. I will not be your true princess. You made me into a true princess. I refused to be a true princess. I could not be a true princess. I became your true princess. I was a true princess. I cannot be a true princess. I refuse to be a true princess. I will not allow myself to be a true princess. I will not be your true princess. You made me into a true princess. I refused to be a true princess. I could not be a true princess. I became your true princess. I was a true princess. I cannot be a true princess. I refuse to be a true princess. I will not allow myself to be a true princess. I will not be your true princess. You made me into a true princess. I refused to be a true princess. I could not be a true princess. I became your true princess. I was a true princess. I cannot be a true princess. I refuse to be a true princess. I will not allow myself to be a true princess. I will not be your true princess. You made me into a true princess. I refused to be a true princess. I could not be a true princess. I became your true princess. I was a true princess. I cannot be a true princess. I refuse to be a true princess. I will not allow myself to be a true princess. I will not be your true princess. You made me into a true princess. I refused to be a true princess. I could not be a true princess. I became your true princess. I was a true princess. I cannot be a true princess. I refuse to be a true princess. I will not allow myself to be a true princess. I will not be your true princess. You made me into a true princess. I refused to be a true princess. I could not be a true princess. I became your true princess. I was a true princess. I cannot be a true princess. I refuse to be a true princess. I will not allow myself to be a true princess. I will not be your true princess. You made me into a true princess. I refused to be a true princess. I could not be a true princess. I became your true princess. I was a true princess. I cannot be a true princess. I refuse to be a true princess. I will not allow myself to be a true princess. I will not be your true princess. You made me into a true princess. I refused to be a true princess. I could not be a true princess. I became your true princess. I was a true princess.

resurrection of ideals
influence of thought
abjection of need
quality of supply
antithesis of production
inkling of reality
feeling of entanglement
inclusion of atrophy

I came across a friend
a friend I didn’t know I had.
I was full of regret and dreams of
hope for a future I didn’t know
I could have.
This friend (who sensed my dismay)
said unto me
Absolve thyself.
Rely not on another
for another will be jealous
or competitive
 
Absolve myself.
 
This friend was me.

The silver frame around nostalgia,
fly wire over the windows,
entrapment of opportunity,
fear and loathing,
 
 
Magnetic consciousness,
and repressed will –
it’s all in the archives of the
desolate trappings of expectation.
 
Autonomous
Incredulous
Capricious soul.

“STIGMA, STYLE, REPROACH”
 
 
SATIN ANGER SILVER STEEL REGRET PEARLS
LEATHER ANGUISH CARBON TISSUE FEAR PAPER
 
 
THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVOURITE THINGS
 
 
MEANING PERCEPTION IMAGE IDEALISATION FASHION FAD
 
 
CRYSTAL RHYTHM GLASS WAX SOUND WIRE
SILICON RHYME FLORA COTTON FORM WATER

“The Princess did me wrong,
led me unto the fray…”
 
 
She introduced me to the Devil,
allowed him to restrict me
in her moral and vanquished image…
 
She caged me like a bird,
clipped my wings and claws,
 
She disarmed my defences and
only form of attack with
her ample charm and promises…
 
And with a gracious smile upon her face
she led me, like a Christian
into the lion’s den…
 
The Princess did me wrong,
she works not for the promise of Paradise,
but for the purpose of destruction.

Symmetry
Harmony
Proportion
Balance
Equilibrium
Unity
Equivalence
Uniformity
 
 
White
Blanc
Snowy
Milky
Bleached
Frosty
Frosted
Ivory
 
 
Barrier
Obstacle
Deterrent
Boundary
Hindrance
Encumbrance
Obstruction
Restraint
Barricade

incapable?
No.
uncontrollable inconsistency and
undeniable calamity.
 
 
 
Can I bear the sight of a new shade of green?
 
 
is it too bright and blinding?
         or just rejuvenating?
 
 
Should I make something to match it;
or just try and ignore it?
 
 
Either way: Do I flip a coin   or
        flip a new leaf;
 
 
 
 
I can’t decide on my own.

The simultaneous deepening of
the webs of deception and
the fires of desire…
 
 
 
 
Perceptibly attracting my attention
with your ample charm,
Attempting to give credence
to my assumed naiveté.