and all that, while treading on thin ice. i’m amazed at the events of the last week, much less the last month or so.
but while my actions may have been somewhat precarious, placing myself in situations which require somewhat delicate handling, i’ve been impressed by my awareness of this fact, and by my composure, and my strength of will in certain contexts.
basically, as i’ve been telling myself, “It’s all good.”
this is why i haven’t been writing so much lately, let alone been online much.. i’ve been running around, catching up on what i missed, having fun and testing myself, (partially, i think, because i want to see if i can cope. and not just that. learn. you know what? i think i am.)
Huzzah! What a Thought! I’m Learning!
excuse my self-directed sarcasm, its an inbuilt device, used to keep my ego in control. and lately, it needs a little restraining. just a little though..
i’ve received a lot of compliments in the last week, and gotten myself into, then out of, a lot of trouble, but i think i’ve come up smelling like a rose.. though, not a classical rose, perhaps rose, mixed with jasmine and cinnamon, something a little oriental, just a little bit different..
i don’t see the need to speak of specifics, but basically, i opened myself up, let a few people see a side of myself that i usually keep hidden, locked away, well guarded, and rarely spoken of.. but, (and this is the clincher of the deal) they weren’t shocked, offended, or even displeased.. they liked it. correction. they liked me. and THAT’s a compliment, if ever i saw one.
also received this week, was verification of previously held ‘innate knowledge’ (perhaps otherwise known as ‘psychic delusions’) about certain people, certain situations. also good stuff. that verification, means i can trust my feelings, my impressions of a situation/person, even without concrete evidence of it being so. but dammit, i was right. so there. Nyah!
forgive my childish self-righteousness, but i’m allowing myself a moment of gloating. and above all, (for the weekend, at least) I’m happy. be happy for me..