i’ve been neglecting this. there is so much going on that i don’t really know what to say about most of it. it’s not writers block. it’s just that i have had nothing to say about it.. until now.
what’s odd, is that the exact same issue is coming up in every situation that i’m involved in at the moment. its all power and politics. if i start, i’ll write an essay. but.. i’ll try and gloss over the recent events..
state government election: landslide win for Labour, woo! only one lonely Liberal member in the parliamentary house. w00t!! (i hate the Liberals. for my American friends, the Liberal party are ultra-conservative, and represent the upper-middle class, and big-business. i’m an artist. ’nuff said.)
mum and dad are here: this isn’t so much a struggle with them, but within myself. i have to maintain a balance of paying sufficient attention to them, and getting things done. its more about internal power.. “do i give in to what someone else wants, or do i just go my own way?”
Louise: i’m realising that this project is moving away from why i wanted to start it.. she keeps coming up with brilliant ideas.. that just keep leading the entire project further away from where (and why) we started it.. i’m still not sure what to do about this. again – “do i give in to what someone else wants, or do i just go my own way?”
groupboard: aaaaaiiiieeee! politics, and power struggles, all the way. that’s all it is really. we had our power taken away, and now we’re trying to get it back. hrm, at least prove that he was wrong in doing so.. well, i simply stated my objections, clearly and intelligently, and let it die. it’s time to move on, and find a new home. but some people seem intent on revenge. i personally think that karma will take care of that. he’ll realise the drop in numbers once people start noticing the difference. (and that’s not just my anti-conflict nature speaking. i just realise that there is nothing that will change what’s already happened.) but honestly, on the politics of the battle, i can’t believe that someone who is very intelligent, can’t think strategically. if your opponent is in the position of power, you have to be smarter. don’t rush at him head on. that’s just being stupid, and proving to him that you aren’t worthy of his respect. that’s all i’ll say on that.
another note: if the distance doesnt kill me, the incompatibility will. the silence is more than deafening, more than uncomfortable. you cannot begin to imagine the state of frustration, and exclusion it puts me in. and the most frustrating thing about it, is that nothing is being done about it. y’all expect me to either put up and shut up (pun intended), or change my circumstances to suit. you’re neither understanding, nor trying to find a better solution. and i feel so alone, because of that. cryptic? yes. probably. you might understand me, you might not. i don’t care. i had to say it.
i’ve also had isp trouble. so forgive me, i’m still alive, just struggling with a few things.