Entree.
Care. Mark, I have tried to call, can’t get through. Hope you’re all ok and stuff. hugs
Mains.
Love. Hearing that someone other has been suffering for the last eight years with an issue similar to one I dealt with in 5 years, is giving me the wobbles. How dare they bring up their issues with no respect for the fact that I have only buried mine in a shallow grave, from which they could rise again to attack my senses and fling me from the stable ground I now stand on. Earthquakes are one thing, and this could be another, if I wasn’t feeling so sure of my footing. He doesn’t talk about stuff as I would like, but people are people, right? And all people are different, and part of me reminds me that I have to accept the differences, as I expect my differences to be accepted. Do unto others, etc, etc. But for the fact that I have a burning curiosity fed by desire (in short, I want to know this person), I have no problem with this thought. This curiosity is making me want to ask questions, but there is always the thought that maybe, just maybe, I don’t want to know the answer, and things are better off being left unsaid. It’s an internal issue, one which I am sure will resolve in due course. I just need to keep my head out of my heart, and I will be ok.
Desert.
Work. My days would be easier if others did their job properly, in short. With long days, and high numbers of people to deal with, provision of service gets difficult when the pieces around the edges aren’t done as they should be done. Preparation weaves it’s way into delivery, and people get bored, boredom breeds contempt, while they wait for me to do someone else’s job before I can do mine. An issue which WILL (goddamnit) get resolved this week. I can’t handle it any longer. It’s difficult and draining enough to hold the reigns on 15-20 people when things are going well, but when the track is slippery and the car unserviced, it takes even more out of you to get to the finish line every day.
I’m exhausted, burning the candle, and starting to worry about things i shouldn’t be worrying about.