eh… i tried to write an entry.. and this is the third attempt. the first one, the computer got accidently unplugged, and i lost it all, the second one, the cat walked on the keyboard, and somehow managed to close this window. i don’t want to tempt fate by trying to re-write the same entry, so this is all i’m posting.
i’ll try and re-write it in the morning..
i’m going to bed now… it’s been one of those days.
post script: changed my mind.. can’t sleep, clowns will eat me. or people will get angry with me, or leave their children in my care, or convince me to buy computers, or make me search my own house for things that have been taken away…
so here i am again, 3fuckingam, and whoa stop i can’t don’t won’t sleep. or something like that, anyway. i keep thinking about today.. i cried. when i opened the message from M, read the words, i cried. it hit me.. such gentle, heartfelt words of support from a friend. after i’d had about four hours of Rammstein-quality angsty fun with A, abusing the hell out of whatever we wanted, given the timely lack of gb gestapo, such softness rendered me helpless. i collapsed, emotionally, and realised, how fucked up i am at the moment..and that’s when i wrote what was later described as ‘perfect…’ it may have been written in 10 minutes, but it took me three hours to hit send.. stupid email. stupid planet. i want to go to mars..