living a life excluded, occluded, sanitized, demoralized left me in a black hole of self-doubt with a haze of non-recognition.
A day, a day, a day is all i ask to let me feel, let me see it is real, there is reason for being, for wanting, for knowing.
trapped, locked away, cramped into the cave and hidden away. she’s not really here. hide her in the back room so it doesn’t seem so real. like a dirty little secret hiding in the closet…
reality and fantasy and never the twain shall meet.
much like (one hopes) history and future. what’s the forecast? can’t see clearly enough to tell yet. shrug “i dunno” is all the answer i get for that.
storms are brewing though and while the first of the season was met by preventative reaction, we shall see if the warning was heeded.
reaction precludes action? or relapse? who knows? time knows. but he never tells you until it’s time.